The Stunning Debate: Bores's Take on the New X-Box Debacle

All right guys, it's been quite a week without me, hasn't it?

  Now before I start on this review, let me just say that the reason I didn't post last time was because I was busy at South Padre Island attending a funeral ceremony for one of my sister's friend's Dad who was cremated, and we went out on a boat for a few hours spreading his ashes in the Gulf of Mexico in his memory, and then we all went on a dolphin watch afterwards.

OK, now that we got that out of the way, let's start out with a review of his latest NEO video, the XBox comparison review.

I know a lot of you were expecting something for his 7Up review, but that will have to wait for another time.

00:00 - 00:14 - We'll start off with the trailer for the video, which starts with Bores sitting next to the X-Box 360. After using hid voodoo magic to show us what the video's website is (in all it's n00b-friendly named glory) he gives us a rundown on the new "Aux-Box," which I guess is a shortened term for the Auxillary Box.

Guess Microsoft decided to get a little creative with naming their new console, either that or his diction decided to fail on him again, but I guess that's just another day for good old Chris "one-take" Bores.

00:15 - 00:38 - He then congratulates us for being able to sit through his latest video which he emphasizes the HD quality of it, as if he didn't push it on us any harder than he already did the last three times.

  He starts droning on and on about the programs he was using and holds back from saying the word "ass" for some reason, and he thanks us again for having the patience to sit through the whole damn thing.

00:39 - 00:58 - In the oh-so-fine tradition of redundancy, he thanks us a third time, for all the emails he receieved praising the review, as well as all the malicious emails, all of which he ignores since he gets thousands of them every week.

He says something about some sort of plot he's developing in this new direction he's taking it.

Well Goll-ly Bores, we are sooo excited with what's going to happen.... Really...

So now we follow the link and see the actual debate video:

00:00 - 00:20 He starts off by saying that the old X-Box has been replaced by a newer X-Box. No shit genius, that was almost five years ago, and you're just sud.....

...Oh I get it, you're talking about the X-Box 360 being replaced, not the original X-Box, thank you for specifing to us which one it was.

He asks us what's so different about it and oif we actually need it. Anyone who ever used a 360 would tell you exactly why they would, but more later on that. Ah, I see you made a new intro.
Next.

00:21 - 00:37 - The first thing he says is different is that it's colored black, because apparently the color of the fuselage is really an important factor behind a console's fucntion. I mean it's not like X-Box will be any other colors or anything.

He then shows us an absolutely necessary diagram over it's shorter width and height using red arrows because we wouldn't be able to pinpoint the measurements for ourselves, thank you. I'm also surprised you didn't call the new "AuxBox" by it's name, the X-Box 360 Slim.

He also mentions the engine runs quieter than the previous console, not explaining that it could be because it's an upgraded engine than the one before it so it would be inevitably quieter.

00:38 - 01:08 - He also shows us it has a Kinetics "imput" and WiFi connection, showing us how desperately they're trying to catch up with the Wii and PS3 and not giving his "input" on the situation like any debater would do.

He says some more things, like how he has to pay extra for XBox LIVE Gold subscription for multiplayer saying how stupid it is. Not if you read the fine details on the bottom, which I doubt you could.

01:09 - 01:39 Here he's recycling one of his running gags from the Odyssey review, only instead of connecting the Odyssey to the TV, he's taking the 360's hard drive and memory card with the same results, the only thing missing was some stupid cut scene where he travels halfway across the galaxy to find one using random Star Wars characters.

1:40 - 1:57 And now the moment we've all been waiting for, the debate to end all Xbox - AuxBox debates, a time when we find the ultimate answer, that does a service to all huma..OK he says the answer is "no." But will he give us a valid reason for this?

Well, he says that you should only buy it if you want to play Kinetic games, or if you need WiFi connection. Well what about all the people who've had to experience some of the extreme technical difficulties, like the console chewing up the disc, the power supply burning out the brick, and who could forget the evil RED RING OF DEATH!!!!

Problems which, as of to date, are pretty much non-existant with the "AuxBox."

1:57 - 2:22 - He then mentions how the 360 has a card insert with access to XBox LIVE Gold, while burping at the same time. While the AuxBox doesn't, and lets us to take it for what it's worth, for which I say.... they both have that card insert, you just got gyped wthout even knowing it.

Well, that certainly felt like nothing but filler to me, did it feel more like filler to you?

Anyway, feels good to back after that unintentional hiatus. So until next time, viewers.