A Brief Look at God of War III... Very Very Brief

Welcome back everybody to those of you who were patient enough for this next one, we now go to IG's latest NEO episode, God of War III, but first the preview episode for it:

0:00 - 0:09 He starts off by saying the tools he works with changed their name from GottGame.com to GotGame.com with ont "T".

Do they think a little change in title is going to bring in a more casual audience or something, because that's the only explanation I can think of in this case that makes any sense.

0:10 - 0:26  As he stumbles and fumbles over his words, he now tells us in celebration he put together a small video of his long-anticipated review of God of War III, which he said he would do in his last NEO episode.

Oh, you mean the one where you systematically alienated not only a large portion of your casual viewers but your most hardcore fans as well, and then half-assed your attempt to save it? Do you really want to remind people of that little incident?

For that matter, since when did people actually request for you to play this game anyway? Is this just another illusion of you having any real fans, or did you just want to get more ad revenue by reviewing another major release?

0:27 - 0:40  For the rest of the video, he drones on about how he's still working on his latest episode of the IG show proper, which is taking so long he couldn't even give us a release date for it. Is HD really that difficult to work woth, Bores?

Anyway, onto the review:

0:00 - 0:18 After the really short intro, he says he will now review God of War III, which like his Ghostbusters 2009 review, says it's been out for a while now, but at least then he explained that it took him a while to beat.

Will he give us an explanation for it this time? *he puts in the game* I guess not.

0:19 - 0:40 Really, Kratos is back a third time to round out the trilogy, and starts where II leaves off?  That's really the best way you can put it?

He then starts padding the video by using footage of Gaia climbing up Zeus's tower.  Granted, the opening intro does kick ass as you follow up with, but it still doesn't make up for your redundancy.

0:41 - 1:11  He says we're treated to a captivating story, and starts listing off the things the game has like new puzzles, new weapons and more deities to fight. Are you going to explain any of this to us at all, Bores?

After another scene of pure padding, he warns us that the game isn't intended for kids, as if the first two games weren't any indication. He also lists off the reasons for it, like he did in his Dante's Infreno review, which also excludes any scene of extreme violence, then he shows us a scene wh...

....

Really, Bores? You had to make another dirty joke? And did you need to show us that stupid look on your face, and censor the whole screen like that, just to pad the review even more?

Also, it seems you screwed up pronouncing Aphrodite's name, just like how you pronounced Hermione in one of your E3 videos with Lego Harry Potter.

1:12 - 1:33  He then says God of War III was the best game of 2010. Okay, so maybe he's giving it a fair shot, but then he has to say a complaint about it. This time it's the anti-"climatic" ending. Don't you mean "climactic"?

Seems you've never heard of spoiler alerts, since it may have hindered most people's will to pick up the game, if they hadn't already played it in the last few months, so thank God he decided to review it now, when everyone gets the basic idea of what happened.

Which makes me wonder if Bores actually stayed after the ending credits or not.

He then says that you don't have to play the previous games to enjoy it, even though the majority of people who bought this game also played the previous ones beforehand, whether they were hardcore fans, or people who wanted to catch up with the story in anticipation for this one.

1:34 - 1:38 Wait... what?

That's it? That's your review? That's all you have to say about the game? You're not even going to bother with any other details about the game, like gameplay mechanics, level design, or any of the other aspects, just something to make this review longer than just one-and-a-half minutes?

Sheesh, no wonder BatDan decided to quit on you.

Well, that about does it for this week, as we now have to wait for the next episode of the show, which he has told us three times already.

He's really going to make me have to strecth this out more than I'm already doing, isn't he?